Explaination:
Now, I believe it’s time I have realised why I became this.
- Part 1: That… age
If you’ve been this age before, you know what age I’m on about. Back in October 2nd, it was my birthday! Yay! A few months later… that thing kicks in. That happened a few months ago, and that might have a little part in my changes in my ways. But, there are a lot more factors.
- Part 2: Loneliness/Bullying
In real life, my bullying worsened, I was constantly getting abused, name-called or worse. I also didn’t have any friends except my one friend, who is abusive and still is today. I just stick with him as I’ve got no one else. This caused me to do something things. Like, not coming to school or forcing myself to get sent home, this worsened my school attendance down to 90.2% (around that) right now. I also ended up doing something horrible. Warning: This has been spoilered as it may contain triggers or something you do not like. I also ended up grabbing a razor (Those ones you shave your beards with) and forcefully cutting my head open to try stay off school. This also caused my “depression” to worsen at the time.
- Part 3: Her
At the time also, I had a girlfriend who I also stuck with, as once again, I had no one. Back in January, our relationship had been on lots of rocks. It was not okay at the time, we broke up a lot of times and got back together, a lot of times. Back in January, so, so many people told me it was abusive, but I just ignored them as I was idiotic and selfish, and just didn’t want to believe she didn’t love me. Back in April, you may have noticed I became EVEN MORE aggressive. This is because I ended up breaking up with her for good. Warning: May contain a trigger She admitted she wanted to abuse me, to break me. She also constantly lied to me about everything for no reason.
- Part 4: The Facade
That… was not the real me. Sure, the other factors about contributed into it becoming the real me. But at the time, I was pretending to be aggressive and pretended to act tough. Why? Because I felt like if I didn’t, people would find my insecurities and use it against me, something that is going on to me right now in real life.
