Once a kind little girl, who was faithful in the lord. On the inside she was very sad and depressed. Her parents were always in a fight, and never had time to talk to their little girl. Every day when her parents got home, they would simply ignore her existence. After many years of sadness, she finally grew to a age were she could leave the house, and she left it. Fully going into the will of the lord. Many people came and asked her to forgive them of her sins. And she did, she also had the magical ability to speak to the dead. This was all very interesting, which is why it attracted the attention of a group of individuals. After many years of listening to people beg for forgiveness and talk to the dead, she had eventually seen everything, and resented her life. Once this very night when the moon was full, she was getting ready to kill herself, when she heard a knock on the door. It was a man in robes, she did not know this man. This man offered the Priest a better life, one were in stead of people begging for forgiveness, they would beg for mercy. One were she would instead of give, she would take. The priest wondered if she would accept. But in a instant, she grinned. She had a accepted the offer. She was no longer the cute little girl that everyone treated her like. But instead a Catcher of Souls, one who everyone feared. She thought to herself, “Finally no one will ever again take me for granted! I am no longer the little girl that I was”.
coma there, not period. Please. PLEASE!
no punctuation is meant to be there.
coma there, not period
once*
coma after “life”
no comma, unless you put quotations and say “will I accept?”
This is all good and all, but she is a catcher of souls, not reaper. Additionally, people do not tend to fear investigative classes. Lastly, for her to seem so happy about being feared, she must complain back when she helps people about how they take her for granted. “they will take me for granted no more”
Rope, please do not spam posts correcting someone’s grammar, instead, do it all in one big post in the future
I have merged your posts to reduce clutter
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