Changed your mind so quickly, anon
How many hours is this due? Iām practically finished but Iām gonna do some fine tuning before I make my meme submission public
Whatever this thing is
THE WRAITH OF OUTPOST 420
FADE IN
INT. GUARD ROOM
A dimly lit, relatively small room only illuminated by two hanging lamps. Two guards (#1 and #2) are playing checkers on a grey table, sitting on two uncomfortable looking chairs in the center of the room. One guard (#3) is in a corner, playing solitaire near the door into the adjacent storage room. In the opposite corner is a door that connects to the rest of the outpost. Guard #1 looks older and more decorated than the other guards. They appear to not be talking until Guard #1 says something to Guard #2.
GUARD #1
So you heard the story of the wraith, right?
GUARD #2
I canāt say I have, no.
GUARD #1
Well, canāt fault you too much for that. Youāre new here. Also, side note, youāre terrible at checkers.
GUARD #2
Yeah, yeah. So whatās the story about?
GUARD #1
Story goes that thereās a spirit that can possess the bodies of people, and that itās contained somewhere in this outpost.
GUARD #2
Yeah, that canāt be right. The only thing this outpost contains are objects from medieval times. Why do we do that, anyway? I forgot.
GUARD #1
They say itās for preservation, but I donāt buy it. The spiritās supposedly ALSO from medieval times, and (leans forward) I believe itās trapped in the iron maiden. (he points to the door to the storage room) Thatās why they moved all the old junk here, to get the spirit away from the continents where it can actually harm people. Thatās also why they tell us we canāt open the maiden.
GUARD #2
Nah, I think itās for preservation. Spirits existing, and HERE of all places? You gotta be joking. Also, itās still your turn.
GUARD #1
Maybe Iām just superstitious, but I feel like Iām right. Hell, youāre usually in the room with the objects, I canāt be the only one whoās unnerved by the things.
GUARD #2
ā¦actually, I have heard the story of the wraith before. Most of what you said is the same as what I know, but you got one little detail wrong.
GUARD #1
And whatās that?
GUARD #2
I go by āpossessorā, bitch.
Suddenly, Guard #2 reaches across the table and grabs Guard #1 by the throat. Guard #2 collapses into a bloody pile and Guard #1 is seemingly fine. The whole time, Guard #3 watches in shock. Guard #1 slowly turns around to stare at Guard #3.
GUARD #1
Donāt mind me, Iām okay now.
Guard #3 rushes through the door he was next to into the room which stores the medieval objects.
INT. MEDIEVAL ROOM
The medieval room is a very dimly lit and large room, lit by only a couple hanging lamps. The room consists of a catapult, a cannon, an iron maiden, a suit of armor, many antique swords, and several other miscellaneous medieval objects. Guard #3 notices that the door to the iron maiden is open, even though it isnāt supposed to be. He then rushes to hide behind the cannon by crouching. He hears the door open and footsteps walk into the room. After three minutes pass, Guard #3 hears the footsteps close to where he is, and peeks out. Guard #1 is dangerously close. After one minute passes, Guard #1 leaves the area close to Guard #3, and Guard #3 slinks to behind the catapult. He picks up a nearby antique shield and tosses it between the catapult and the open iron maiden. He hears footsteps rushing to where he threw the shield.
GUARD #1
GOTCHA-wait, huh? (picks up the shield, inspecting it)
GUARD #3
Iām WHEELy sorry about this!
Guard #3 forcefully shoves the catapult into Guard #1, which rolls right into him, causing him to stumble into the iron maiden. Guard #3 hastily slams the door of the maiden shut with the possessed Guard #1 inside.
GUARD #3
Neuts out? More likeā¦(looks at camera) neuts in. (Slowly puts on sunglasses)
THE END
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You got me my good dude. That last sentence got me.
Iām loving every bit of this witty exchange. Iām desperately trying not to laugh in my office XD
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