It’s my attempt at recreating it. I gotta paint it first to make the colors match. I only have blue black and orange filament
Rip
Went to a psychologist (second time overall but in the first time the professional was so trashy it didn’t count)
She said that the peer amount of pressure on me is driving me batshit insane, in delicate words
So I may or may not be depressed
5 Likes
So…
I’ve completed my internship.
And by far, it was fun.
Those guys, Waow.
I may be suffering temporarily due to stomach flu, but I’d loved every bit of my 3 months at Ingram.
Wwwwwweeeeeewwwww!!
3 Likes
I feel more lightweight than any time in the past few dozens of months
And now I am not stuck in my self loathing vicious cycle
The reasons all past times I failed after I tried to change after I broke a window in my self loathing mentality was because I couldn’t get myself far from it
But when I stood away from the ambient that hurt me in the first place (my house) and legit just enjoyed good times without what put me in the bottom at the first place (my pressure) and felt welcomed somewhere (to break the self loathing cycle) I can feel I’m going forward again
A lot of things are changing for better since the years started to end and thus I let myself get ridden of some of the pressure
But now on the “can’t love something if you don’t love yourself” dictate is true. I notice how I was hurting people I cared about the entire time, which before I couldn’t because I was so occupied kicking myself
Now I only need to work on the self caring, vices and procastinating parts
4 Likes
Something I have found to be useful against procrastination is having purpose
“I’m playing Pokemon. I will play until I beat all trainers on this gym. Then I will take a bath. Then I will help my mother” is better than “I’m playing Pokemon until I get bored of it and then idk”
3 Likes
I would love not to be a hypocondriac but for now I have taken a significant step. I will never Google my symptoms even if I know they are worryingly.
Just need to convince my mother now to take me to the medic.
3 Likes
Just for the memes:
Question: I have a random rash
Google: You have been diagnosed with death.
2 Likes
feel idiotic times from times
but
don’t panic attack anymore
don’t sit myself doing nothing most of the time
self care
uni is good and fun
going to most uni classes
got friends irl and virtual
have the something wrong/heavy chest feeling but not the depressed feeling
far from parents
not anxious about the future anymore
finished a book
finished a drawing
finsishing a game
found a rpg table I like
DMing the system I always wanted to
not that much hypocondriac anymore
got basic vaccines I could take at my age because I’m too old for some
since I spent like half the year last year complaining of the contrary of almost all those things in the venting thread I think that my evolution deserves to be shared too
cheers, love, Merc has ascended
13 Likes