the venting was so pure and unbound it didn’t come out as posts, it came out as a stream of negativitiy slurry
Oh my gosh that’s a strong vent right there.
Remember to obey the forum guidelines
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I was getting back from class when I tripped on the road and almost got ran over by a car. I’m fine with only a few scrapes
Seldomly a memory from 2017 comes to my head.
Where my father told me that my mother already gave up on me, but that he still “had hope”.
I wondered to this day if it was true, or if he tried to gaslight me on the heat of the discussion.
But the more I think about it,
both seem to be true.
Why are they so hopeless on me? What have I done?
Also seems like they have a legitimate discredit on me for not turning on how they wanted me to be.
It doesn’t matter if I’m good at what I’m good at, it doesn’t matter, because it is not what they expected.
I think it is the main motive I live better alone than when they visit me. I don’t care about not being cared at all, but being treated like a failure hurts so much.
Or maybe what I’m good at holds no value at all, which would make me straight useless.
What I have is “ah, nice” but objectively hard to apply in any relevant non-hobbyistic situation
The most useful would be being good at math? But still I’m not anything that shines because it’s the knowledge of a high school student.
I’m not convinced that being good at math is anywhere close to the “most useful” thing you could be good it. In school, maybe, but you have a lifetime after that you have to take into account as well.
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i had a whole blurb here about that but i decided to scrap it down to the tl;dr
basically, while yes math itself isnt particularly good at any one individual thing, a lot of the stuff that comes with learning math can transfer over pretty well to a lot of different places.
also a lot of the higher math classes are super chill
But you don’t need to be inherently good at it to learn useful things from the process of learning it
Hell, by that measure being bad at math gives you an advantage (provided you don’t give up)
What matters the most for me is not utility tho, it’s more the feeling of being treated like hopeless trash
Sounds like you had what I had on Monday
Which wasn’t pleasant at all
First time I slept through the entire rest of my day upon finishing work (but not after having a 10 minute cry alone in my car after driving home)
Reached a point where is clear my help or advice isn’t needed anywhere anymore
I guess it’s time to find another self-fulfilling task to do