I am responding to exactly what is being said
am I saying anything thats untrue or personal attacks? No. Unless you count me attacking someoneās behaviour when it effects the game.
But the truth is not pretty and if I said my honest thoughts about the way some people have played/acted iād be seen as kind of a dick
I sugarcoat most of my harsh remarks but donāt do so in spec chats because of how I feel they are.
If i have to sugarcoat my criticisms of a play in spec chat too the fucking fine, it just loses some of my appeal
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If you canāt monitor yourself to not be toxic that is 100% on you
Nobody expect specchat to have no insults but if youāre saying things so bad you wouldnāt say them in a game thread THATāS AN ISSUE
Marshal my dude
Saying things harshly behind closed doors where the targets canāt see it is actively going to make you look worse
can we just agree that spec chats should generally be public, with exceptions if thereās stuff that canāt be salvaged through redaction
I wouldnāt even consider what iāve said to be toxic
just super harsh
I often wonāt ping people and tell them exactly why their behavioural pattern is flawed because itās true but harsh and they probably will react negatively to it and towards me
I donāt think that always keeping it real 100% is the right move and just ends up in arguing
Us: we arent really toxic, but very honest in spec chat.
Orange: just dont be toxic wtf is wrong with you
orange I think what theyāre saying is that
they donāt think what theyāre saying is toxic
but they know it could be misconstrued as such and they donāt want it to harm people
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they probably could say what they say in a game thread, but they feel more comfortable saying it in spec chat
If it is constructive, then harsh is fine
Something like, " Donāt be such a moron and donāt quick hammer in Lylo and learn to read obviosu scumtells" is Ok
Just saying āYouāre shit, youāre reads are shit, your votes were shitā probably isnāt
I think understanding that people trashing your play is not personal is a fundamental skill in Mafia communities and that people should be able to understand things that are reasonable
If itās unreasonable, maybe look at yourself 
and also
knowing that spec chat isnāt going to be forcefully made public makes them feel more comfortable posting there
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yeah iām never going to call someone out on behavioral issues that are affecting the game unless itās like āmaybe try to be a little less not very nice ish please maybe???ā
When I say behavioural issues, I do mean in part someoneās personality
because if somebody has a personality that naturally causes them to do things that effect the game state in some way, I think commenting on it is fair game, but showcasing to someone why their personality is negative is something that can very easily lead to toxicity directed at the person showcasing it and thatās not ideal
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a classic irony of humanity is that we are often okay with things happening unless we have no control other whether they do, because we feel judged by our lack of control
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Me disagreeing with your perspective is not not listening
If you ājust being realā is too likely to be seen as hurtful thatās something you should consider before you post
Iām by no means always positive about peopleās play but hiding that from them and talking behind their back with others is just gross
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