Hmm
Right, I have had very little interaction with cbman and Luxx, but I can answer for Alfa, Jazz, Ashe, and Marl.
- Marl has probably done the most for these forums and the community than anyone could ever do when it came to creating setups, setting up matches, and keeping the forums organized. He was a very chill person even while being devoted and would keep his cool even in most difficult situations, and is also a very good mafia player despite the memes of him being mislynch Marl and whatnot. And to be honest, I kind of have some feelings for him.
- Jazz was a pretty fun person to be around, even if she was kind of gloomy and moody at times. I can understand her pain as I also dealt with, and still deal with to an extent, gender dysphoria since we’re both trans women.
- Ashe was a very cheery person and was also quite dedicated to the forums when it came to setting up balanced setups such as CitJR. Ultimately I really miss her the most out of all the mods second to Marl.
- Alfa was a relatively quiet moderator. Though I haven’t interacted much with her as she was mostly into RPing instead of FM.
The current mod team is fine. I just don’t see you guys being able to size up to the work that Marl and Ashe have done in these forums.
Everything changed for worse since they left, IMO. Aside from losing a lot of people, Marl and Ashe were major pillars of this community and without them the life of the forums is gone and I essentially just see it as its shambling corpse.
My previous profile pic was Alice Margatroid from the Touhou Project. My current profile pic is Zero from Drakengard 3.
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Are you talking about me coming out as transgender?
It started out a few years ago in my mid teens where I had these odd feelings that I just felt that there was something… odd. This was also coupled upon a depression that I have develop, later which I learned that it was gender dysphoria, and I also got frequent intrusive thoughts that I’d live better were I born a woman.
After I learned what transgender is in around 2013 it pretty much all came back roaring to me that this is effectively what I am. I’ve always attempted to express but hide my femininity, as in I’d always play female characters and RP as a girl when I was a teen, while also hiding this from people and making it my own dirty little secret, and I’ve wanted to pick up theater purely as an excuse to crossdress. Worst cases were when I basically isolated myself as I wasn’t attracted to women and I refused to date men because I was so insecure with my identity. Later when I became less homophobic I began dating men and I’d always act highly effeminate in private despite putting up a manly charade in public.
Hell, the repression was so damn bad that back when I was young I’d used to repeatedly over-compensate my masculinity. In Brazil, since much of the language is gendered I’d used to put a shit-ton of emphasis in gendering myself as masculine whenever I spoke or wrote. It was seriously that bad.
Honestly, the only effeminate thing I used to do in public was to grow out my hair long, and I basically tried using every excuse in the book to hide it.
In short, I was extremely repressed, and it was until a few years ago that I decided to finally transition and I have finally started estrogen about four months ago. So far I’ve been doing a lot better, mental health and self-acceptance wise, but the road to recovery is still quite long.
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I anticipated that you’d target me so I pre-wrote that message before Icibalus began the ITA period.
It’s been a mixed bag so far. Some do, others have no idea whether to make heads or tails from this, while others do not. In short, I’m just focusing on making my body passable, which shouldn’t be too hard as the only masculine feature I have is my height, so I just go stealth and not have to care about what others think.
The only thing I can think of you saying it’s toxic for is people playing forum mafia and arguing and that’s just the game
I miss you