Last Poster Before Threadlock gets a cookie (cookie thread v2)

[sulit]

i am dying

[KyoDaz]

@Magnus

Journalist Tess Ardent may be in trouble, Police gain ground on the murderer investigation.

Tess Ardent, a journalist who recently published a fraudulent report on the Westshire hotel murder is being convicted of 4 attempts of 1st degree murder. Just today she rammed her Camaro into a bar with the intent to kill 3 detectives and journalist Nicholas Cain, Me. She committed this ravage assault after detectives denied her information on the murderer case.
Me being an eye witness and a victim of the attack I confirm this

HEEELPPP

[sulit]

(into people)

[KyoDaz]

FOUR ATTEMPTS OF FIRST DEGREE MURDER
That is too funny

[sulit]

oh my god

[KyoDaz]

@Magnus

Detective: “I’m detective [REDACTED], But right now I feel less like a detective and more like a PR manager.”

Tess Ardent: “Right, so you have 15 people on the case and fully support my article and agree that the previous one was forged? Lovely. We’ll use that as a statement.”

Tess Ardent: ““Promotion here I come!”

LOOOOL

[KyoDaz]

“Promotion here I come!”

[sulit]

LOL

[KyoDaz]

This was the resistance of TessA

@Magnus

Forgery

As you all know, my last article was, well, unexpected. I would officially like to say that my article was infact forged. I would like to know for sure who it was before pointing any fingers, but as of now, all the evidence points to no one other than Tess Ardent. She has been suspected of being a greedy journalist who made a fake report for profit and she also forged a paper, which infact is illegal. As of right now, be wary of Tess Ardent. As for the serial killer, our best detectives are on it so have no fear.

~Luke Cross

[KyoDaz]

@Magnus

Courtcase

As you all probably know by now, the popular journalist Tess Ardent, also known as TessA, has been arrested following a charge of attempted murder. There will be a court proceedings later this day. We have not been able to get the name of TessA’s lawyer, to the regret of this paper. We were unable to get an official statement from the police.
Written by Journalist Magnus.

I FORGOT I GOT SENT TO COURT

[sulit]

I can’t get over the

(into people)

[Boss110]

@Magnus Who was the murderer?

[anon6348071]

@Magnus

4 attempts of 1st degree murder

“Attempts”

[Magnus]

I dunno why Hail tried to cover up who the officer was. You literally wrote their name in your paper.

[KyoDaz]

@KyoDaz

That Tess Ardent is definitely making the headlines as a famous Journalist anyway

LOOL

[Magnus]

Oh.
Jake.

[KyoDaz]

@Simon

nah court is a private thing cause press might not have access

@KyoDaz

I am the Press

I can’t breathe

[sulit]

This is great

[KyoDaz]

I FORGOT ABOUT THIS

@Magnus

Tank Regulations - An Article by Tess Ardent

It is now legal for Tess Ardent to own a tank. Anybody who questions the possession of a tank is subject to termination.

(Article by Tess Ardent)

[sulit]

LMAO