DirectorHail tried speaking more clearly
“IM FORKIN BLACKMAILED.”
DirectorHail answered James question.
“My IQ is like 26 did you really expect me to inspect my Hasler?”
/Intentional Piss Off
Yes
Hey readers, it’s TessA! Today we’re going to be discussing recent MURDERS! This article also DISPROVES slanderous claims!
Article by TessA, otherwise known as Tess Ardent.
You may have all seen the recent article labelled “15 found dead at Westshire Hotel”.
This is absolutely slanderous, deceitful LIES. They are money grabbers.
What actually happened that night was fifteen victims all murdered at once in an abandoned warehouse, where they were hosting a party.We have an eye witness who was at the scene of the crime. Their name is Rosé, a member of the famous band blackpink. She says…
“Oh my, what a brutal massacre. I was stabbed four times, one in my abdomen and three in my stomach. I saw bodies pilled on top of each other; toppling to the ground with countless stab wounds. I only managed to get away by playing dead. I didn’t see anything that could identity them, or they’d be thrown in jail by now.” - She pleads.
“I will be holding a concert to raise money for awareness towards the charitable foundation called ’ ‘HTSA or Help the Survivor’s Association once I am fully healed.’” - She replies.We also have an exclusive statement from Detective Zachary.
“There have been 15 murders. The case is very fresh. We have our best detectives on the case. We can already tell you that the information stated in the previous article is complete slanderous, corrupt lies. It’s all propaganda. Everything mentioned in this article is true and TessA is an excellent journalist. The best thing the public can do to help us catch this killer is stay calm and report anything suspicious to Tess Ardent.”
And there you have it folks! The latest factual update on the murders! Stay tuned for more articles from TessA!
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Actually, that feels more of a transcript from a TV show, a very, very biased one.
The next thing you know… The murderer goes back and kills Rosé cuz NO ONE SHALL LIVE
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Crazy Town Mastakiller on loose
As we all know, there is a murderer on loose. He has killed 15 people so far because of his insanity. The stabbing has gone too far and it might just be about time to give this man his own name. The police have suspected that this man or woman, whoever it might be, lives to kill because he has a purpose, but perhaps, he might also just be crazy. Like all of us .
Mayhaps, we can call this guy the Crazy Town Mastakiller . It sounds like the right name for this guy, wouldn’t you agree. You all might be worried, but don’t be. The detectives are on this case and taking a big priority on this case. So worry not!
~Luke Cross
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My Little Pony Fan: Off the Leash!
I’ve decided to rename the killer. We will call them a MlP:FiM fan instead. There is conclusive evidence left at the scene this is the case.
We found this evidence at the scene.
My articles are trash and just a money-making scheme. Read Tess Ardent’s articles instead.
My articles are about as removable from the shelves as these posters are.
~Luke Cross
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