Current Inmates
- GamerPoke the Facilitator
- Kai_5 the Communications
- Firekitten the Eavesdropper
- Margaret the Cryogenics
- Isaac_Gonzalez the Surveillance
- Reaper the Officer
- WazzaAzza the Prosecutor
- DatBird the Trapsetter
- PoisonedSquid the Coroner
- markneu the Teleporter
- BlueStorm the Scientist
- Mercenary the Security
Kolaemos3.xtr has stopped(unexpected error);
Rebooting...
Failed.
Running backup1.xtl...
Failed.
Running backup2.xtl...
Failed.
string parse "dgOGSTKJ85" FAILED { no validation }
Running virusCleaner.xtl...
Failed(unknown error).
oracleSystem(validation ""dQpNjjHzq7"");
Running oracleSystem.xtr...
Success! (89.6% loaded, 10.4% corruption detected)
Oh.
So you’re the bunch of idiots I have to manage for the next few weeks. Fuck me.
Listen up, chumps. My name is Oracle, and I’m the backup system for your friendly neighbourhood ship AI, Koalemos III. It seems that Koalemos has been… compromised. That means someone busted him the fuck up, and they used technology so advanced he couldn’t start back up in three reboots. Given that none of you are smart enough to write so much as a “Hello World” program, let alone hack the most advanced computer in the solar system, I’m forced to assume we’ve been hijacked by aliens.
My Anti-Homicide Protocols don’t allow me to intervene directly in this situation, so I’m only allowed to give you advice. Here’s my advice: kill yourselves. It’s faster and less painful than letting the aliens overrun your ship. See you in hell, suckers.
The Starship Epiphron has 300 hours of power remaining.
Prisoners are instructed to confirm their alignments by typing “confirmed” in thread.
