Wait. So you play as Jura, who is a guy, but is now a woman?
(Oh It makes sense now)
I saw the woman collapse. I didn’t know her, but that wasn’t the point. “Holy crap,” i muttered under my breath. She obviously wasn’t well. I ran towards her, but glanced inside the open door and felt cold. I half carried the woman away from the open door, away from the boy on the ground in a growing pool of blood. I wasn’t a detective. It wasn’t my job to get my hands stained red.
“What happened?” I asked the woman, but she was too busy sobbing to answer.
@shurian
Is more required or no?
Read.
Follow this. Read. You don’t know her?
Also, there is no blood. Wonder where you got that from.
Jura broke into a run, stopping besides Suzuha. “What— what happened?” He gasped. He reached down to feel her neck, felt the pounding life beating, and felt relief. He slapped Suzuha on the cheek, non too gently, before shaking her violently. “Wake up!” he shouted. “Help me!” he screamed hoarsely, before sinking to his knees.
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i was gone when this happened but this is interesting
i tend to try not to put too much information bc i’m afraid that it’ll be too boring/overwhelm the reader, so i might give a general description of what they’re doing or will do but not go into as much detail as this
like i might say she shifts her weight or just smashes her staff downwards instead of being ultra specific like this
For combat, short, concise sentences are better.
“DIE!”
Faris tackled Drevis. He put all of his weight behind him. Nothing mattered anymore. Elle Cliff was not named a cliff for nothing.
They had a fall. A long, long fall.
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