The Monkey's Paw

Off-Topic (Thronepass)
#262

Granted, however it’s invisible.

I wish that I had moderator powers and can abuse them.

#263

Granted, the council of idiots murders you in your sleep… :upside_down_face:

I wish I would feel well rested tomorrow.

#264

Granted. At precisely 11:59 PM tomorrow, you wake up, feeling well rested.

I wish for a laser what doesn’t cause cancer.

#265

Granted. Instead it causes diabetes.

I wish I were better at having conversations.

#266

Granted, you become a politician, eventually winding up President, crumbling under the immense outside pressure, you take your own life.

I wish I would have more holiday days.

These are supposed to be darkish, right

#267

Granted. You now celebrate every religion’s version of Christmas, spending lots of money in the process.

I wish I had 1 million dollars safely in a bank account that I can access at any time.

(Fuck you solic)

#268

Granted. A kitten stole it first.
I wish every wish was now DENIED.

1 Like
#269

Granted. However, that includes this one, and the resulting paradox breaks the forum.

I wish I had started my physics homework earlier.

#270

Denied. Thanks, Magnus.

I wish [Redacted]

#271

Granted, you feel miserable.

I wish I wouldn’t ninja Jake, and he wouldn’t be upset at me for it.

#272

granted, [Redacted]

I wish for a raise.

#273

Granted. You are now so high that you lose your job.

#274

Granted, he’s now grown emotionally attached to you whenever you do it.

I wish that the title was reverted

#275

Granted, you lose access to your account and he’s not upset at you :upside_down_face:

I wish the dining hall were closer to my dorm.

#276

…I could change the title. :thinking:

#277

you would have to grant the wish tho

#278

That’s forum veteran abuse

#279

Granted, the dining hall is one nanometer closer to your dorm

I wish Disney would stop making remakes of older animated movies

#280

Granted, they remake the remakes.
I wish I had a movie to watch.

#281

Granted, you can now watch the Star Wars Holiday Special

I wish I had a sleeping bag