The Monkey's Paw

Off-Topic (Thronepass)
#382

granted. Now you are unable to concentrate on work outside of school

I wish my room was clean

#383

Granted. Now it doesnā€™t have anything in it.

I wish I had the power to bring back the dead from an arbitrary point when they were alive.

#384

granted, but they are brought back to exactly the same point in space they were at at the desired time, relative to the center of the milky way

i wish for 2 more wishes

#385

Granted, but you can only use them to wish for mutant three-legged ostriches in Santa hats.

I wish for a cure to aging.

#386

Granted. Itā€™s death.

I wish for a magic staff

#387

Granted, but itā€™s cursed to only work when you shout a racial slur so that the people in your vicinity will be able to hear it
I wish for mutant three legged ostriches in Santa hats

#388

Granted. You now have mutant three-legged ostriches in Santa hats.

I wish for a granola bar.

#389

granted. it probably tastes like shit because most granola bars do.

I wish to actually own a matress

#390

Granted. You have to pay mortgage on your mattress because nobody truly owns their stuff in this world.
I wish I had a granola bar that didnā€™t taste like shit

#391

Granted. You now have a granola bar that tastes like piss.

I wish for spotify premium

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#392

Granted. You got it at ThePirateBay and gained together a handy feature that is always active and shows you how to grow your manly parts within 6 days, alongside with a detector on widows in your area and constant reminders you are visitor 100000.
I wish for sleep

#393

Granted. You never wake up.

I wish for a pet dinosaur.

#394

Granted. It destroys you and your home.
I wish for fancy breakfast that tastes good and I can eat

#395

Granted. The Sellsword you didnā€™t know was in your home steals it and eats it before you can.

I wish Fortnite never existed.

#396

granted. a weirdly similar game titled ā€œJortniteā€ (where all the characters wear jorts) takes its place

I wish that the wish i am thinking of, with no side effects that are not intrinsically part of the wish, be granted when i say the words ā€œi wish to be made a sandwichā€ for the second time, including this time

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#397


I wish for happiness

#398

granted. you get one (1) serotonin. thats it. its done.

i wish for someone to confirm/deny whether my previous wish means i win or not, while still letting the game continue either way.

#399

Granted. You lose.

I wish I hit all my skillshots.

#400

Granted. You became so happy because of this that you died of happiness, though.

I wish that I wasnā€™t lazy.

#401

Granted. You are hyperactive.
I wish I had an anti rain device.