The Monkey's Paw

Off-Topic (Thronepass)
#422

256, 0, 0

#423

Granted. You now have a piece of glass and on top of it is a droplet of water.

I wish I had infinite amounts of non-meltable strawberry ice-cream.

(Iā€™m really bad at making wishes tbh)

#424

Granted, it takes up the space of the entire observable universe and then also the rest of it, instantly crushing you and the rest of existence forever before collapsing in on itself into a black hole.

3 Likes
#425

No wish lol
I wish Nuclear didnā€™t was a Burrito who likes Nuclear

#426

Granted but since the sentence is nonsense nothing actually happened.

I wish I could be a Sentient Dragon

1 Like
#427

Granted. You are renicknamed to Sentient Dragon.
I wish for uwu

2 Likes
#428

Granted, now you have been converted into the pathƒwƓgen, the destruction of the world is imminent.

I wish I could OwO.

#429

Granted, now you have been converted into the pathƙwƚgen, the destruction of the world is imminent.
I wish for uwo

#430

what the fuck happened here

Granted, your right eye is now permanently closed and your left eye is now permanently open.

I wish that I had a non-sentient robot that could do all of my homework for me and copy my handwriting perfectly so that no one can tell that it was the robot that did my homework.

#431

Granted. Since they arenā€™t sentient they donā€™t understand how to do anything beyond basic computations. Youā€™re also fucked on finals but thatā€™s obvious.

I wish for a 10ft fly repelling aura all around me that I can freely turn on and off whenever I want to no ill effects

#432

Granted, however mosquitoes are now the bane of my existance

I wish i could get a better job

#433

Granted, but it requires you to go to a nuclear plant unprotected.

I wish I was immune to all diseases in the world.

#434

Granted. You are not immune to cosmic AIDS
I wish mosquitoes did not exist

1 Like
#435

Granted. Entire ecosystems collapse.
I wish the Hollow Knight lore was real but they still bugs.

#436

Granted. Youā€™ll never get to experience or see it though, because they still bugs.
I wish I could do a flip successfully without having to exert much effort

#437

Granted, one day while casually doing a flip from a high place. You accidentally flip over the railings and land on your feet. Shattering your legs

i wish i had more time to do what i wanted

#438

granted. You are fired from your job immediately

I wish i could cry on command

#439

granted, but because of this nobody ever thinks you are being sincere.

i wish i got a raise at my work

#440

Granted, but you work for less hours to compensate
I wish I were able to cast Prestidigitation as an irl cantrip

#441

Granted but only you can see the effects so everyone thinks youā€™re on drugs.

I wish I wasnā€™t so bored at school.