i mean
i would have the money to move out in two months.
put money down on a car, get my drivers license (have a permit rn). Find a cheap apartment and move. I would only need to bring my pc stuff over as that’s all i own that needs to be moved
lol
pretty much all my family has done for me is pay my school tuition and put shitty food on the table.
i’m not attached to them
2 Likes
I feel you
I’m also heavily theorizing that my father is a narcissist because ugh
now he is threatening to forbid me from going to college
will work for one more year until I can legally leave the house so I can live with a friend in the worst hypothesis
yep.
also my psychologist is obligated to give them a very vague profile of my situation if she is asked since I’m a minor
she said that I needed acknowledgement
my father somehow distorted it as “needing to be pampered up before doing something instead of getting praise when I do something”
the problem is exactly that no one gives me even a congratulations for doing well you fucker.
3 Likes
sorry for turning this into a me-centered conversation but that’s kinda what the thread is for so ehhh
“I did well on the biggest uni we have, and have passed to the second phase!”
“yes but in my time I did better in the same uni and 30 years ago my teacher said that the exams were getting easier so yeah it should be easier now so lmao milennials”
literally anyone who works in the field nowadays: they got harder.
I went to the uni archive to compare exams and I could do the entirety of the math section (most important one for my grade) I knew the formulas for by head in the exam he did
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just wanted a congratulations for doing wellshit even if I’m not really studying for two years since I got way too depressed
now I just think on how well I could be if I didn’t get way too depressed
but what caused me to get boomed down was the internalized pressure (caused by lack of acknowledgement since I was always trying to get it but it obviously would never come) I learnt to repeat to myself and I’m not even depressed just in a shit environment
the phrase that before you think that you are depressed you should look around and see if you are surrounded by idiots is true because I get so well after two days on any situation with constant human contact (so I don’t have time to scream to myself I should be doing better) with friends or another functional family
actually spending time at friends’ houses was good because it let me see normal family dynamics
–
at least since the psycho said I needed attention in the profile thingy my mother is trying a little bit but my sister is really trying and that makes me happy around her
I’m more fine with her around when my father is around in general because it is someone I can at least give a sideways glance when he says some shit
family dynamics is cool tho
when someone drives bad in the road my uncle said they are black, my father said they are a woman, and my friend’s father just start to angrily repeat what they are doing
so I preffer hanging out with my friend’s family lul
spent so much time there the last week his mother is starting to jokingly say that she adopted me
also literally no counciousness if I really suck or not because I know that this shit will make me think I suck so I can’t analyse it clearly
bf says I’m lovely tho but he is biased
damn that was a longass rant post no one will read but writing those things out my head makes me feel better
gnite
forgot one thing
my father isn’t a dick to everyone
just the women on the family
psychologist made me notice that because I didn’t connect the points until I talked everything out to her
so it isn’t only with me, not because we are close family, but because we are minority
but I’m not really anxious he won’t let me study but I think he is overreacting
I also like how he has 300 justifications on his head for it WHICH ARE ALL FALSE.
nothing is better than being called lowkey incompetent every time because yes and even being laughed off an easily treatable genetic thingy because it was obviously caused by me and you totally didn’t knew it was genetic since I was a baby because the fucking doctor said it was genetic
nothing bad it is just some postural shit that being strong enough to sustain yourself properly solves so I just need to go to the gym for six months or so
already doing gym uwu
our colleges are free but they don’t have dorms
so who pays for me living near it will be him after all
so he can threaten me with economickz factorz
