Last Poster Before Threadlock gets a cookie (cookie thread v2)

[KyoDaz]

FOUR ATTEMPTS OF FIRST DEGREE MURDER
That is too funny

[sulit]

oh my god

[KyoDaz]

@Magnus

Detective: “I’m detective [REDACTED], But right now I feel less like a detective and more like a PR manager.”

Tess Ardent: “Right, so you have 15 people on the case and fully support my article and agree that the previous one was forged? Lovely. We’ll use that as a statement.”

Tess Ardent: ““Promotion here I come!”

LOOOOL

[KyoDaz]

“Promotion here I come!”

[sulit]

LOL

[KyoDaz]

This was the resistance of TessA

@Magnus

Forgery

As you all know, my last article was, well, unexpected. I would officially like to say that my article was infact forged. I would like to know for sure who it was before pointing any fingers, but as of now, all the evidence points to no one other than Tess Ardent. She has been suspected of being a greedy journalist who made a fake report for profit and she also forged a paper, which infact is illegal. As of right now, be wary of Tess Ardent. As for the serial killer, our best detectives are on it so have no fear.

~Luke Cross

[KyoDaz]

@Magnus

Courtcase

As you all probably know by now, the popular journalist Tess Ardent, also known as TessA, has been arrested following a charge of attempted murder. There will be a court proceedings later this day. We have not been able to get the name of TessA’s lawyer, to the regret of this paper. We were unable to get an official statement from the police.
Written by Journalist Magnus.

I FORGOT I GOT SENT TO COURT

[sulit]

I can’t get over the

(into people)

[Boss110]

@Magnus Who was the murderer?

[anon6348071]

@Magnus

4 attempts of 1st degree murder

“Attempts”

[Magnus]

I dunno why Hail tried to cover up who the officer was. You literally wrote their name in your paper.

[KyoDaz]

@KyoDaz

That Tess Ardent is definitely making the headlines as a famous Journalist anyway

LOOL

[Magnus]

Oh.
Jake.

[KyoDaz]

@Simon

nah court is a private thing cause press might not have access

@KyoDaz

I am the Press

I can’t breathe

[sulit]

This is great

[KyoDaz]

I FORGOT ABOUT THIS

@Magnus

Tank Regulations - An Article by Tess Ardent

It is now legal for Tess Ardent to own a tank. Anybody who questions the possession of a tank is subject to termination.

(Article by Tess Ardent)

[sulit]

LMAO

[anon6348071]

@KyoDaz

I am the Press

Read it as Palpatine’s “I am the senate” and it’s 10/10

[KyoDaz]

@Shurian

AHAHAHA
Steals tank
Self-legalizes it

[KyoDaz]

@Magnus

Tess Ardent - Free from the corruption of the Police.

My name is Tess Ardent. I was recently subjected to an unlawful arrest and thrown in court. The court verdict was that I was guilty, however this is completely false. The Detective by the name of Detective Zachary shot out my tires and caused me to crash.

The judge ruled corruptly and I was sentenced to jail. But with YOUR help, we managed to take down these dictators and free me, Tess Ardent. I am the voice of the people. We must overthrow this government if they continue with such corrupt intent.

I would like to personally thank everyone who helped me avoid being detained.

Article by Tess Ardent

Here is more of my propaganda